Amazon Prime Day—Resistance is Futile



I tried. I just want you to know that. I want you to know that it was purely accidental, I did not mean to visit Amazon today. I successfully skirted around it for hours, and then... I got a link. Emailed to me. Perfectly innocent. So I clicked. By the time I saw where the link was taking me, it was too late. I was already on the Cuisinart Food Processor page.
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20% off. Resisting, I reached for "control w" to close the window, when I saw it. A little flash in the corner of my eye. Did I know that my $10 off coupon would be expiring soon? And just like in an old movie, I saw the price roll down from $180 to... clackclackclackclack... $144 to... clackclackclackclack... $134. And now I was hooked. I started searching feverishly for more discounts. More coupon codes. What's this? 5% cash back today if I access the site through the ibotta app on my phone? hoop. jump. And here, 5% back if I use my Amazon credit card, which I swore not to use. another hoop. another jump.

I am weak. I see this now. I did what they wanted. Everything that they wanted.

And in two days (with Amazon Prime* free shipping), I will have a new food processor. One whose blades don't break off and embed themselves in the already chopped food.

I will question this choice, these events, for a long time to come. I will also, happily, make breadcrumbs again, and homemade mayonnaise that doesn't take an hour to whisk by hand... as well as new things, glorious things, like... nut butters! and other shit I can't think of that would be so much harder to do by hand, or in the gourmet coffee grinder, or the vitamix, or the retro-styled Kitchenaid stand mixer.



*Totally an affiliate link.

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