This is Not Milk Reviews

In which I attempt to make nut, grass, and legume milks more tolerable by applying science-y bits in a very subjective manner.

Make Your Own Almond Butter

I've been contemplating the Whole30 diet for awhile—and to be honest, the main thing keeping me from diving in is the cost. I'm fine with giving up peanut butter, sweeteners, even dairy (although bread will be my achilles heal). But the cost, especially during winter, gives me pause.

One of the things we love, but stopped buying because it's gotten a bit pricey, is Almond butter. We'd buy it in 12 oz containers from our Whole-Foods-like store in town & it would put us back about $8. So, I decided I should price out almond butter around town, and then wondered what it might cost to make my own.

How on Earth are You Living on $1,800 a Month?

On my weekly Pinterest surf I came across a promising pin, "Living on $1,800 a month budget." It featured a picture of a woman holding a baby with the implication that $1,800 covered the budget for a young family. This, of course, made me click on it immediately because inquiring minds want to know. Just how *DO* you live on a budget of $1,800 a month? I mean clearly, you must not have many bills (and if that's the case I am seriously envious.)

Starting Avocados from Pits

Most of us, at some point in our elementary school education, started seeds on the window sill of our classroom. It was one of those "fun" lessons that almost always backfired on the teacher when the seeds didn't automatically sprout and grow into a magical bean stalks that rewarded us with gold coins. Damn you Super Mario Brothers.

Whether they were wrapped in wet paper towels and plopped into Ziploc baggies or pierced with toothpicks and balanced above a glass of water, we watched day after day, week after week, as they started to extend their gross little tendrils beyond their now failing husks. Of course, the avocado pits took so long to do anything that we got bored waiting and opted for kickball on the playground instead. Most of those pits ended up in the garbage can... because we were dumb kids and kickball was WAY more fun.

Here's the thing though, if second graders can do it without giving a flip about the results, you can do it to. because—hear me out on this—you're a grown up and kickball got way less fun.

How I Kept My Greenhouse Warm Without Electricity This Winter

I know winter is supposed to be cold, but I moved to the South to get as far away from the cold as I could. Seriously, *the* deciding factor for us leaving Colorado wasn't the expense of living there, or the tap water that you could light on fire, or even the wind so dry that you need a bottle of lotion just to get out of bed in the morning. No, we weighed the pros and cons like good, responsible adults and said "screw this" let's move somewhere warmer.

So, naturally, we moved to the south—where we've had, wait for it, unusually cold winters. Stupid irony.

How to Make Seed Starter Pots from Toilet Paper Rolls

There's really no need to go out and buy seed starter containers given the amount of perfectly good crap you can dig out of the recycle bin. Seriously. Save yourself a little dough by dumpster diving in the safety of your own home. (Common sense, safety gloves, and eyewear recommended.) My favorite seed starters are free—because I'm crafty... and cheap.

Starting a Garden on a Serious Budget

I got so sick of the cold weather this week that I decided to start some seeds for my Spring garden. A bit early you say? Well yes, but I'm tired of winter and this is how I cope.

Currently on my kitchen counter are all number of gardening experiments. From the 4 avocado trees that I started from pits discarded from a magical night of guacamole and Mexican tapas, to Pineapples whose tops were sheared of their pulp then plopped into jars of water to root. I have seeds from a key lime drying, and just-planted seeds from a particularly good spaghetti squash that I hope will sprout. I've repurposed plastic soda bottles into self-watering seed pots in which all manner of basil have been planted. I just can't help myself.

This year, the only thing I've shelled out money for is potting soil (as my compost is frozen at the moment). My seeds have been harvested from last year's plants or stuff we've eaten (plus a few leftover seeds from past years), and my pots are all from the recycled rack at the garden center.

Okay, NOW I Get the Obsession with Aldi

Let me take you back to my introduction to this odd little German-owned grocery store. The year was 1989. I was a tragically hip & cash-poor art student who was faced with the innumerable existential crises that face tragically hip, poor art students, including do I buy groceries this week or save my money to go out dancing? It was during this time period that I was introduced to Aldi. The savior of my entertainment (and food) budget. It was here that I could feed myself for a week on less than $10 thus saving the rest of my money for going out on the weekends—and was only *slightly* reminiscent of that Kids in the Hall skit in which two roommates lived off of mac & cheese and ketchup.

Oh My God, I Finally Found It! The One Secret To Saving Money!

I've been looking for a long time, but I finally came across THE one bit of money saving advice that will, well let's just say it'll totally save me a boat load of money.

I was surfing on Pinterest (like you do) and clicked on a pictogram (like you do). In an eye-catching, multi-sized, san serif font it stated:

"Stop Wasting Money With These 5 Tips."